How does it feel to be a parent of your child?
My son, Alex, has an auditory and visual processing learning disability. He is only ten years old and has no control of his disorder. It has been three years since his diagnosis, yet Alex often asks, “Why? Why me, Mom?” I have no answer for him, except to offer encouragement. I have been told many times since his diagnosis in second grade, that LD’s often run in families; automatically I think my husband and I are the cause of his disability. Did we create this disorder our son must endure? This question often comes to me and results in grief, disbelief, and shame. How could a specialist look me in the eye and imply that Alex's disability is my fault? I often lay awake at night replaying those words in my mind while thinking about where his LD could have originated. My wonderful husband offers comfort when I allow the guilt to encompass me, and reminds me of how far Alex has come and what a joy he is to our lives. He is right; Alex has made momentous strides and lives life to the fullest. His determination and resilience gives me strength and empowers me to continue to act as his advocate and biggest cheerleader. Everyday could be a struggle, yet Alex’s smile is a simple reminder to just enjoy our life.
How is your child developmentally the same or different from other children at the various ages?
Alex’s auditory and visual processing disability affects his senses and his ability to receive, remember, and express information taken in through the senses, despite having normal hearing and vision. His LD is prevalent in the classroom, because most information is presented visually and/or verbally. Reading and math are two subjects Alex struggles with the most, because he lacks the ability to read, write, comprehend, and reason with new information especially pertaining to spatial relationships. Both math and reading rely heavily on the use of symbols (letters, numbers, punctuation, math signs) and for this reason Alex frequently struggles. Unlike most children, Alex also has trouble visually recognizing objects which are familiar to him; one day the information is there, and it may not be there the next. With simple modifications from his teacher, aid, and tutor, Alex is able to succeed in school and reads at an average fifth grade level.
Away from the classroom, Alex is a bright eyed, spunky, energetic, and kind boy who loves soccer, swimming, and watching sports with his dad. Superficially, he looks like every other ten year boy in fifth grade and even carries typically responsibilities around the house. Alex knows to clean his room, make his bed, set the table, and complete his homework before going outside to run around with the neighborhood kids. Although these tasks take Alex a little bit longer to complete, he enjoys the challenge and responsibility. We are blessed to have such a wonderful and unique son!
Away from the classroom, Alex is a bright eyed, spunky, energetic, and kind boy who loves soccer, swimming, and watching sports with his dad. Superficially, he looks like every other ten year boy in fifth grade and even carries typically responsibilities around the house. Alex knows to clean his room, make his bed, set the table, and complete his homework before going outside to run around with the neighborhood kids. Although these tasks take Alex a little bit longer to complete, he enjoys the challenge and responsibility. We are blessed to have such a wonderful and unique son!
What professionals/agencies do you deal with? What services are available to you and your child? How did you find out about these services?
When Alex’s learning disability was first diagnosed I was not sure where to turn, however we received an immense amount of support and guidance from Alex’s school and new pediatrician. My husband and I were not happy with the bedside manner of our first pediatrician who diagnosed Alex, so we sought out a new doctor, whom we love. Dr. Moore has been a wealth of knowledge, hope, and support; he is a true blessing to Alex's life. Our family also receives support from our parent support group geared towards children with LD’s which is ran through our local children’s hospital. This group has been extremely helpful to my mental health, because I carry so much guilt for Alex’s disability. I have been learning to except the condition rather than question it, plus I have gained numerous tips that help our family function better on a daily basis. The internet has also been a wealth of knowledge for Alex and me. We have found educational sites that gear games and activities for children who suffer from LD's, which helps him realize that he is not alone. For some of my favorite and most useful websites, please visit the link at the bottom of this post.
One of the most crucial professionals to Alex’s success is his school teacher. She is with Alex five days a week and consistently makes every effort to meet his needs regardless of the other 29 students in her room. Fortunately, Alex also has an aid that comes into his class everyday to work with him during language arts and math. Both instructors helps Alex stay on target and allows for the one-on-one attention he needs in order to succeed. Alex’s teacher also suggested we look into a tutor/occupational therapist to come to the house to do practice exercises. We followed her advice, and the tutor now comes twice a week. Alex enjoys his company as they talk about sports before working on strengthening Alex's auditory and visual skills, as well as homework. With the aid of the tutor, Alex has excelled in reading and is now able to read at an average fifth grade level!
One of the most crucial professionals to Alex’s success is his school teacher. She is with Alex five days a week and consistently makes every effort to meet his needs regardless of the other 29 students in her room. Fortunately, Alex also has an aid that comes into his class everyday to work with him during language arts and math. Both instructors helps Alex stay on target and allows for the one-on-one attention he needs in order to succeed. Alex’s teacher also suggested we look into a tutor/occupational therapist to come to the house to do practice exercises. We followed her advice, and the tutor now comes twice a week. Alex enjoys his company as they talk about sports before working on strengthening Alex's auditory and visual skills, as well as homework. With the aid of the tutor, Alex has excelled in reading and is now able to read at an average fifth grade level!
What financial burden, if any, are you experiencing?
I thank God everyday for our amazing health insurance through my husband’s work! Because he is a CA employee and has been for 15 years, we have excellent benefits and do not have to pay a significant amount of out-of-pocket money to cover Alex’s tutor and frequent check-ups. With the health insurance, we only pay $15.00 a week for the tutor- without the insurance it would exceed $200.00 per week which would be a stretch for our family. Each doctor visit has a $10.00 co-pay which is very affordable.
What other information do I want to share?
Each child is different and amazing in their own way. Every child excels in some areas and must work harder in others. These differences are the core of the human race and allows for a diverse and beautiful world. When Alex was first diagnosed with a learning disability, I forgot the value of these differences. Now, with time and support, I embrace every aspect of Alex and no longer pity him or our family for his disability. When people feel sorry for him, I simply correct them by stating: “Please, don’t be sorry. We would not have it any other way- Alex is Alex and we love him just as he is”. It is a parents’ job to love unconditionally, to support, to encourage, and to fight for their child. Every day I remind myself of these things, and as a result our family lives a beautiful life.
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